Counting down again...

but at least this time it is real. I was so angry and bitter after my first surgery was postponed, it took a lot to start writing again. So, to fill you in...my surgery was cancelled exactly two weeks before it was scheduled, and it was so stupid as to the reason why. First of all, I was told by a very incompetent woman that it was because of my history with blood clots. I've never had a blood clot in my life! Then as she continued to read from my chart, she told me I had to go meet before a board at Torrance Memorial hospital...annnttt! wrong answer.

Truth be told, it had to do with the fact that my case needed to be taken to the board for approval. Even though I had received approval from the insurance company, because my facility is a center of excellence, my case had to be presented to the board because I'm an amputee. My doctor was honest from the beginning and said this would be a requirement, and I was totally ok with that...but the problem is...they forgot to do it, until 2 weeks before my scheduled surgery. I was soooooooooo pissed.

Finally, almost a month later, they rescheduled it for the 23rd of June. I still had no joy, because it has already been such an emotional rollercoaster, it was hard to believe it was actually going to happen. Well, then...two weeks ago, I receive a call from Dr. Klein. He's not my doctor, but he is one of the doctors with the group, and he is a big dude over there...I guess. At least that's what he told me. So, he calls me personally and tells me that he was planning on assisting my doctor, Dr. Solomon with my surgery. He said he's totally aware of my case, and he wanted to be there to assist Dr. Solomon but he's going to be out of town during my surgery and wanted to know if I would be willing to reschedule it as a favor to him.

I almost started to cry, because I was once again overwhelmed at the thought of being postponed...but once I spoke to him, I realized this man needed to be in my surgery, and I didn't want to do it without him. Yes, he had a little of that God complex thing, but all in all he was a pretty cool dude. So, there you have it in a nutshell...my surgery is not scheduled for July 2nd, exactly one week and 2 days from today, the day my surgery was scheduled for the second time.

Tomorrow, I will be having an IVC filter placement. I know this is to prevent blood clots (I know...there that word comes again), but other than that I don't know much about it. I did realize after speaking to Dr. Klein, my doc doesn't tell me crap. I like him well enough, but not because he's so informative. I know he's young and he's new...so I'm willing to give him a chance.

So, here I am, 9 days before my surgery...getting a little nervous, and a teeny tiny bit stressed thinking about all the stuff I need to do before the big day. So, I've been reading this book Exodus from Obesity. One thing she says in the book that I need to do is journal about all of my fears before the surgery, you know....reflect.

So, I will be reflecting in the next day or so. I probably could have chosen to reflect today...but all of this writing I've done so far...I'm pretty pooped.

24 day countdown

Yep...I only have 24 days, and I know its coming so fast. So much to do...but on a good note, I've calmed the eating thing down.

It's crazy...I was looking at the pics from my daughters wedding, and I'm as big as any cow, and her sister! I'm like a head on a ball...I don't know, but I'm realizing just how miserable I really am. I was out trying to find something to where for the wedding weekend, and I was just so depressed because nothing looked good. But not for long, whhhhooooo hhhhhoooooo!

I'm a little nervous, I guess that's normal. I read other peoples blogs and postings, and I'm always wondering why they're so nervous, but now that I'm closer...I understand a little more.

So, now I'm just trying to get all my ducks in a row, I still don't know how long I'll be off of work. blah blah blah..,so overwhelmed, I don't really feel like writing.

Finally, I have a surgery date!

I can't believe it, it is finally becoming a reality. It seems like it has been so long, I was giving up on the hope of having it done. My surgery date is April 24, 2009. It's really funny because when they first told me it could take as long as 30 days for the approval to come in, I didn't think it would take that long. Silly me. I actually received the call last Tuesday, but I've been so wrapped up in my daughters wedding...today is the first time I've had a chance to think about it.

One thing I've been doing that I know I shouldn't be doing...I'm eating like a pig. Like every meal is my last. I need to get a grip on that, that is so not cool.

submitted for approval

I'm so overwhelmed, I can't believe the time is getting so close. I was told it could take anywhere from 2 - 4 weeks for Blue Cross to send the approval. It's crazy because I've never expected the insurance company could possibly deny me, but now I'm scared. I just don't want to get excited only to find out I've been declined.

On another note, I've been so adamant about wanted lapband, but yesterday, I radically made the decision to go with gastric bypass. I did tell my support group (fam and friends) with the exception of my mother cuz I just don't feel like hearing her rants about something she knows nothing about. I'll tell her at a later date, but not right now.

Why did I choose gastric instead of lapband? Suddenly, lapband didn't sound so appealling. I'd rather deal with a major surgery up front, with little maintinence. With lapband, I'll have to get fills, and it's proven that you don't lose as much weight. On average, I was told that you'll lose 60% of excess body weight with lapband, I need to know I can lose more than that. I don't doubt that I can lose more, but I want to take every precaution.

Also, I've been so concerned about failing at excercising. It's something I really want to do, but honestly...I was never good at it, even with two legs. I have another set of things that will need to be done, but I should be able to do it in a span of a couple of weeks. I'll have to take J with me as he's my support person, to my pre-op class on march 2nd.

OMG, another irritation that I almost forgot to mention. Not really an irritation because I guess I'm willing to continue jumping through hoops. I have some bacteria in my stomach that "could" cause ulcers. So, the doc put me on some drugs that were $100! Man, that is so freakin insane! That's way too much money for something that I may or may not get. So, I was complaining to the pharmist, and she told me that the insurance picked up $268! Wow, that is so crazy to me.

Well, I guess that it for now. I'm sleepy. I'll blog again...probably after I hear the word. Fingers crossed and constant prayers!

Here I am!

Finally, here is a picture of me. More on this later. But just as a super quick update, I'm now down 14 pounds, and I've finished all my test. Well almost...just when I thought I was done, they wanted me to do one more, regarding blood clots in my leg. He also wants me to get clearance from an Oncologist, even though it has been more than 14 years since I had cancer! What's even more stupid, is I contacted my PCP for a referral, and I was denied! Anyway, I've appealed that, and I'm not anticipating any further issues. It's just funny that they're ok with the surgery, but not ok with me seeing an oncologist. Now that I'm right in the range of the requested weight loss, my sweet doc asked me to lose another 8lbs! OMG! Kill me already. But its all good, I'm just beaming with excitement. I know that it's just so close. I'm so happy all the time. It is really a great feeling. More later...toodles!

The Mission Continues

Wow oh wow! Just when I thought I was done, I found out I had a lot more to do...but it is almost done now.

Great news! I went to weigh in yesterday and I lost 8 more pounds for a total of 12! That was so super awesome! I knew I'd been doing ok, but didn't realize I'd done that good. Also, yesterday, I had my pulmonary test, consulted with the gastroendo-something or other. Basically, the dude who will do my upper GI, which is scheduled for this Friday, the 23rd. I had a chest X-ray and an ultrasound of all my vital organs.

Friday I'll have the upper GI and an EKG/EEG...then I'll really be all done. By the time I meet the doc on the 28th, I should have completed all the required test and be down 15lbs, per his request. I'm still concerned about having my gallbladder removed, and about having to see an Oncologist before the surgery...I just think that's so stupid, but whatever!

BTW, this is truly going to be a great year! Obama was sworn into office today, I finally started my locs last week, I'm on this life changing rollercoaster, and there's no way I'm getting off. I'm preparing to start selling my jewelry, actually making it a business...I'm going to make things happen. How exciting this is. Yes, I'm still going back to school, but I'm not sure when yet. I'm going to get a new car in the next couple of months...so life is really beautiful.

J is back in my life...actually he never left. I see where I wrote I broke up with my boyfriend, but I didn't write when he came back. I do love him, we'll see what happens. Maybe I'll talk more on that one day.

I'm over talking about my pictures. I did take them, I've just been too lazy to add them. I also have pics of my starter locs, and I'll need to keep a photo journal of that process, so I'll put them up to.

Tata for now!

Happy New Year to me!

Ok, I'll be the first to admit...I totally suck at blogging. It really doesn't make much sense that it has been so dame long . Then again, maybe if someone else was reading this beside me, I might feel ore of an obligation. Well, I finally have a new picture...I promise, I will put it up over the weekend.

As far as updates are concerned...I didn't really lose too much weight over the holiday...actually I didn't lose any at all. I was really excited about just keeping that 5 lbs. off, and I did ok, until the last weigh in, which was Tuesday. I gained a pound!

But it's all good. I'm on a serious mission now! I've done everything that I've been scheduled to do. I've attended the required amount of support groups, and I had my psch evalution Tuesday, and now I need to just concentrate on losing another 11 lbs by 1/28 which is when I go to see Dr. Solomon again. If my weight is down where its supposed to be, I think he'll prepare to schedule my surgery.

Just when I thought I was done, I found out I had to have pulmonary testing...I scheduled that for 1/19.

I cut my hair, took out my braids and now I'm really ready for 2009. Hoping to get my hair loc'd up soon, oh what a beautiful feeling. I'm feeling fab about 2009! Stay tuned!